Last night, stay over at my friend house.
We were supposed to cycle at east coast park.
However, because of laziness, we decided to stay at home to play marapets. -.-
LOL!! and I eat ton and ton of chocolates and clean the room!! My favourite! Eat till very happy. HAHAHA!

I TELL YOU AH! GO THERE SURE GET FAT! PEPSI AND CHOCOLATE only. AND ya! I finally went to weight myself and I am 59kg! :D

HEY! promise me to go exercise and cycle during the holidays ar! tsk tsk!!
and the sweet book! I want! HAHAHA.. =P

Was looking back to my old posts. Ha! I was surprised that I could really write a very long compo kind of post since then. It's seems like I am having a lot of fun during my 2nd year, which I seem to miss it a lot right now.

All I wish was that everything will be as good or maybe as fun as last year. This year is just like a test for me, a test of being alone which is torturing and boring.
Well, I guess I need to move on and forget everything that making so fatigued and restless everyday. Even I slept for 12 hours, I am still tired. I guess my mind still kind of moving while I'm cause I have been dreaming the same person every now and then.

She is stuck in my head.
I don't know what to talk about if we meet again.
I guess time will heals everything.
I miss talking to her a lot, those laughter that we use to had and non stop talks. Now? non.. just cold and dead conversation we have for this 1 to 2 months.
I dreaded of msg-ing her too, cause is like super COLD and BORING kind.
It's kind of pain in heart, which makes me that I have lost a friend that I can really talk to without any doubt. But now, I think I just have to keep it to myself.

Talk to friends? I wont really like to talk to friends about emotion stuff, cause they might share around with others, and will keep asking me 'Are you okay?' all this stuff. I know it good to share it to your friends but I just prefer the lesser people know the better.

I want to keep it for myself for now. I'm so sorry, that I'm not really to myself this few weeks.

Hmmm.. should study for the test later on?
I want to but I' m too lazy and think that I can't memorise everything in such a short time.
I don't no la! No mood to study at all too. Haha... excuses I know I know.
Later la. I go have a sleep first. Hehehe..

Continue later on..
Good night everyone. =)

Finally changed to a new skin. Hey guys, give me some feedback about it. Thanks!

Eric is hungry hungry...
Studying for VISUALIZATION TEST tomorrow. :S

Hope that time really heals everything. Just everything. My heart, sickness, pain and thinking's. I just want stop thinking about anything, anymore.

I just want to be that happy, carefree and talkative Eric again.

Arghhhh... guess I need a talk, if not one day I'm going to breakdown. Soon..

Hmmm.. I think today gonna be a good day for me to stop me from thinking too much stuff. hahaha.. Got tons and tons of assignments to do now.

Assignments like: Resume and Cover letter, PICS presentation of DBS for next week, SMS/EMS/MMS Presentation.

Arhhhh.. I need to go shopping seriously. Been wearing the some clothes many and many times, so boring. Time to get a new ones soon. This weekend! argh! clear off my mind and destress! Eh... maybe not. =/ Still got PICS presentation to do! I just hate presentation, because you need to wear formal la! ARGH!@#@!#!

Ciao~~

ARGH.. Just woke up from a 2 hours sleep.
Was trying very hard to get to sleep again, but I can't. Sigh..
Why why why I'm I like this, this few days? Don't ask me why. I also don't know it myself too. Not I don't want to say. It's because I'm trying my best to stop thinking about anything just now.

Either friends gatherings and outings. I think I have to stop going out with them, too much. Friends are important, I always treat them as my angels, at times like this I need them the most.

I will focus my everything in my studies right now and CCNA(trying very hard to get that certifcate) Then CCNP. =/
Need to study very hard for this semester in order to get my 3.5.
HAHAHA.. suddenly I miss E7 very much! and Valerie's shouting: "ERICCCCC!" hahahaha!
See yar guys later tomorrow.

I shall try my best to sleep again.
Bye bye..

作詞： 吳克群 作曲： 吳克群

愛太痛

吃不能吃 睡不能睡
沒有了你 全都不對
我都學不會 把愛敷衍
用笑容來把眼淚催眠

笑不能笑 哭不敢哭
人不像人 鬼不像鬼
朋友都說這 不過失戀
但我卻連呼吸都膽怯

能不能不愛了 因為愛太痛了
我痛得快死了 卻無法把你忘了

能不能不愛了 愛情它太痛了
我痛得快死了 卻無法把愛割捨

我不能睡~

English Version

Love is too pain

Unable to eat, unable to sleep
Everything is not right without you
I've not learnt to let love to apathetic
Tears were hypnotised with (my) smiling expressions

Unable to smile, afriad to cry
Unlike a human, unlike a spirit
My friends said it's just a breakup
Even my breathing has turned timid

Can (I) not love?
Because love hurts too much
I nearly died from pain
Yet still i can't forget you

can (I) not love?
Because love hurts too much
I nearly died from pain
Yet still i can't give love away

I'm unable to sleep

Well. That was during her birthday, where I managed to get a black forest chocolate cake for her birthday. Cause she don't celebrate her birthday with a birthday cake, so I bought one for her.

We took a bus to east coast park for her celebration. It was damn windy that night, found a nice spot and lay my sleeping bag act as a mat for us to sit down. We have our talks and I looked closely at my watch, waiting for the time to strike 12 midnight.

12am.

I faster took my lighter(Eh.. I don't smoke.) to light up one candle. Tried many times to light up that little candle because of the strong wind. irritating.

With our hands covered the flame, I sang my fastest birthday song ever in my life. HAHAHA.. and she is only 2 years old that day! lol. only she knows why she is 2 that day, or maybe not. She tends to forget things easily. =/

hold her hands and had a stroll along the beach, that was the night which I felt that i was the most happiest man in the world.

Well, happiness don't always last very long for me.

Ya. She is only one who can give me a lots of comfort, support, encouragement, accompany, love and most importantly happiness.

She will be the only one, who can stands my nagging and emotions.

She always complained that I always say her this and that or rather disturbing her.
Well, I'm taking this chance to thank her and say something more which I think she wants to know.
She is always be my number 1st person in my heart, a special friend, compassionate, gifted, understanding who have many many good characteristics that she has.

Well.. I hope I would be able to hold her hands again, celebrate her every birthday and cross over her hurdles, one by one in her messy life. Hope that she won't be that stress, thinking about her future and family. Stay strong my girl. Eat more. sleep more. get fatter. you're still the best! :)

Good night.
8.5.2009

University Building, North Tce.,

Adelaide, South Australia

Will be going there for attachment this October if my application is approve. It seems to have a very nice environment, with a castle like building. (But somehow it looks haunted to me too.)

I will be darn busy next week, researching for the corporate culture of DBS, doing tutorials and revising questions and questions. Gosh.. Getting to the 3rd year is so much different compared to other 2 years.

Well, wish me luck then.
Ciao :)

How can I say what I am feeling right now. Feeling petrified, terrified or rather sad. Sometimes I feel that I don't really know myself.
What I am? I just a polytechnic student trying all my best to study and wish that I can get in to an university or study a decent part time degree which will benefit my job next time.

Life is just thwarted and meaningless.
I can't get what I want this days. Maybe it's just because I getting older now and my needs are definitely vast.
I really don't know why I am so wishy-washy, can I just make a right decision and go for it?
Nah. I can't. I will tend to think this and that, whether my decision is right or wrong.

I did cry for awhile just now. (okay, I know I am a guy and it's shameful to cry)
I can't really sleep right now. Just because I have a dream about that I was drunk, then she woke me up. I got infuriated(I think I was still drunk) and got hold both of her arms and started tearing her.

Indeed, she was tearing off away just like paper. I teared till she turns to a pile of scrambles of herself. She just there with pieces and pieces of her, she cannot talk to me anymore, gone, disappeared from my sight.

That scene was familiar, where my mum was under the white cloth on the white bed on that unbearable night. She was just there in peace, but she can't talk to me anymore and, told me stories and stories after nights and nights. I have lost my dearly mother, so I can't expect to lose her who I teared her to pieces out of my anger or anyone again.

I woke up from my dreams, sms-ed her and told her that how much I treasured her and love her. I hope she understands why.
She didn't reply, think she was too tired after doing her assignments and the lack of sleep she had this week, insomnia I think.
I really don't know what will really happen if I ever lose her.

About her, she was rather a stubborn and weak girl.

Stubborn because what ever I told her to do, which meant her well, she won't listen she would insist of her dislikes.
That's why I like to say her about not eating medicine when she was sick.
She don't like because the medicine is bitter but seeing her with pain really hurts my heart.
And those emotions are the things that I won't say it, but I know that it's important to tell someone how you feel right? But I won't. I will keep to myself, let myself be the one suffered all the sad, angers or even jealousy.

I just like to keep my mouth shut. Really tight when it comes to emotions stuff. That's myself I can't change it. That's maybe because why, I can never be a good boyfriend.
I can give you accompany, security, support and many lot things but there's something that I don't have but that is really very important to you.

But I just like her in the why she is now. Just normal. Like this..

I really treasured the time with you, cause you are always busy and it's very hard to ask you out.
Ya. Need to have the correct timing, I always got the wrong timing to ask for dates.
Dating with her on a fixed date is very impossible. And all the datings so far, were all last minute dates. I can only see her at mostly at night, on the day she will be out busy with her stuff. How I wish that I could have her for just a day. Just a day will be enough for me. 24 hours is just not enough for me to be with her.

Anything just seems alright for me. I won't say yes or no. I don't want to spoilt everything, our relationship and love. I don't wanna any things that affect it, but it out to be so.

Well, I don't know what the future gonna be like. We can be just good friends or never ever contact again. But I am still here and I will always be there for you, giving you wings to fly over your hurdles in your life, limitless happiness and my accompany that you are not alone. Wherever you go no matter how far, my love will be where you are.